Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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