ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
