if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
