I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
