he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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