Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize