Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how drunk are you?
Several
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
