At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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