Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize