singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
