Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
