i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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