I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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