4 words: hood of his car
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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