I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
