So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
