No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
