I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
