Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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