There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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