I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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