Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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