I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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