4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
