I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
