i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
