If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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