I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
