We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
