oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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