Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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