This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
