I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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