please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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