I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
