Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
They should really pass out barf bags in church
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
