she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You need a sexual gate keeper
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
