I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize