Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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