Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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