we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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