Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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