I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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