My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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