I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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