i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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