no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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