oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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