I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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