She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
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Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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