the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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