His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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