dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Never let your siblings swipe right.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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