is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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