i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
