Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
