I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
