my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
