isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
NoShamevember. You game?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
