For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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