we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's never too late to be topless.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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