He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
