They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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