Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
