I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
