There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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