Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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