I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
