wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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