ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
