Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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